A Killer’s Last Thoughts

I stand along the lake, looking into the pitch black ink of the water. The trees hang gloomingly over, the full moon, taunting me. The snow falls, without purpose. The crisp winter night bites back at me, like it’s angry. The whole place, full of regret and sadness; is hostile to my presence. I hear an owl, hooting in the distance, reminding me that I’m trapped. I sit on a rock, waiting for something to find me. I sit, full of emotions. 

I know that soon, my memory will fade away. I know that sooner or later, my name will become a wisp in the cold wind of the night. Looking back at the lake, it seems that the water has become darker than before. I walk towards it, reach down, and run my hand through the coolness of the lake.

I pull my hand back with a yelp of surprise. A small snapping turtle bit me, reminding me once again what I did. It was like the entire lake wanted me gone. I hear a crisp break of branches, and swing around. In front of me, I see a deer. Her luminescent eyes searching for my soul, her not knowing that I lost it. I reach out to pet her, and she bolts. She must have scenced everything that has happened. I don’t blame her for running.  I look at my hands, hating myself for losing control. It was like my mind exploded, I succumbed to the anger. She wasn’t mine anymore, but I still cracked. I guess that it was the betrayal that caused this mess. The thought that someone I loved, someone I trusted, would go behind my back, it destroyed me. 

I look at the pair of carved initials on an old, oak tree. Running my hands over them, I cry a fresh set of tears. I wish they would find me already, this waiting was causing me to lose my mind. I sit on the muddy ground, putting my head in my lap. I then hear the song of crickets, blending together to make a sweet harmony of happiness.

I lift my head, close my eyes, and listen for a few moments. But all too soon, a bat swoops down, eats the crickets, cutting their song off. Their song, cut too soon, reminds me of what happened. I stand back up, about to leave. But something holds me back, is it the guilt, or the freedom?

I could all as well run away, they would forget me anyway. I could be free, instead of being trapped in my mind for the rest of my days. I make up my mind, and say goodbye to the lake one last time. All of the animals, the bugs, the entire place looks at me wary, but filled with anticipation. They know I won’t come back, I do as well. I can’t come back. The lake that used to be filled with laughter, happiness, love is now all gone. I tainted it with anger, hate, and so much more. I look at the inky black waters, and see dark red seeping into shore. 

I smell the faint fragrance of honeycomb and vanilla, and almost fainted. I collapse on the ground, suddenly horrified with what I’ve done. I hear the faint wail of sirens, coming closer by the second. I soon see the flashing lights of cop cars park by the woods. I shut my eyes, and see her smile one last time. I feel a sense of pease, knowing that I could be with her one last time.

I shakily stand up, look back at the cops that are running at me, and close my eyes.